Monday, May 28, 2012

My Prince Charming - Really?

Certain but Naive
With sunrise in the scene, springs my prince charming
All tall and exquisite, a smile so disarming.
The heart escapes the being, and leaps strides to the horizon
To resign itself to this thirst, so marvelously deluding!

Hopeful still
The prince never seems to be in reach; Exasperatingly
But does the gullible heart relinquishes? Oh not so early!
It frantically journeys, to this glimpse so promising
For the mirage of love ahead, is still flickering.

Distraught and strained
Days and nights; Months and years of wandering
The anxiety finally enters, after an infinite era of waiting.
The heart though overpowered, clings to love, a feeling
But resigns when grasps, the path so long to recovery.

Wise and pragmatic
Healed and learned, but at the horizon I am still staring
Through the windows, the allusion of him is still thriving.
But the conscious heart knows the nuances of this living
And gladly accepts this time, just the sun rising.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Its London Baby - First new Friend

By seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.
Samuel Johnson.

This is a travel series about my times in London. You can read the first part here.

Once outside London Heathrow, always opt for a non black cab. You can find local cab numbers on the net which are very reliable. My colleague had already booked one for us. The difference between the two is, while a local cab would cost you 25 pounds for a distance of 15 miles, a black cab would cost you 50-60 pounds. Although the company pays for the travel costs, there was no way a 50 pound taxi bill would be re embursed by HR.

For the first month, a guest house is provided in Wembley (north London) which is a 2 bedroom hall kitchen flat fully furnished and equipped flat for every associate. After a journey of 45 minutes we reached the guest house. Surprisingly I felt no jet lag, considering it was 1:30AM in India. I was just plain excited and upbeat.

Soham was my colleague, who I was too replace. He was a very skillful resource, and my client had high regards for him, so I knew I had very experienced shoes to fill. But I was looking forward to all the hard work, and Soham being my friend, I knew would help me a lot. He had come to receive me at the airport and took me safely to the guest house. He had even purchased a SIM card for me. Purchasing a SIM is very easy in London. You can simply go into any of the grocery stores and buy a prepaid SIM for the rates of 5,10,20 pounds. I always used a Lebara SIM, because India calling was very cheap. You can choose your SIM on the basis of the country you belong to.

Sudha: My first new friend in London

Sudha was the person with whom I was to share my guest. She was 4 years my senior and 2 designations higher, but one look at her, and you would feel she was just out of her college. Petite and extremely thin, she looked like a girl not too friendly, but she did greet me with a smile. Unlike most London roomies I have heard about, she didn't retreat to her room, but instead stayed with Soham and me, till the time he was there. Both of them had made arrangements for my dinner, which felt so good. It didn't feel lonely anymore.

Sudha, was there on a business visa, so she was leaving in a month's time. And although I had the luxury of 6-8 months to discover London, Sudha ensured I was only sight seeing and looking at places all over London on all four weekends that I shared the guest house with her.

The first month in London, with Sudha was fun, but more than fun, it was more of a learning experience. She taught me to cook chicken curry, using fried chicken from the Sam's takeaway(don't try it, very unhealthy place), and I really enjoyed the times spent with her while she cooked(which happened almost everyday, because I had this aversion to cooking then :-P). She was 28 and she was not married. And I judged her, but after I heard what she went through, I felt ashamed. Call me slick minded but I used to think that girls should get married at a certain age. At least I wanted too. But 4 weeks with her, changed my prehistoric notions. She had bought a house back in Pune, and was clear she was there only to replay the loan quicker and faster. Sudha is still my friend and we do meet sometimes. She is still not married and she still looks the same, but each time she meets me, she always think I am growing prettier :-)

More about the whirlwind 4 weeks and the places I visited in the next post. But for now leaving you with a decent pic of Sudha and me :-)

Sudha and me at the Slough station, waiting for the national express in the cold!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Love, Heartbreak but Freedom

I loved you; I never let go of you
You loved me, yet you had your own dues.
I clung to you; the parasite, which feed on you
You suffocated, asked for freedom from this servitude.
I, the sanguine, promised this would work, stayed resolute
You, the defeated continued to stay put.
I, relieved; in the fairy world I continued
You for my happiness, tagged alone no clue.
I, all along choose to ignore your woes
You, all along developed a hatred, deep root.

I realize too late, how wrong set were my views
For the naive and romantic me, only always knew.
How love was over caste, how love was over religion, how love was over the almighty above
How love was unconditional, a feeling too delicate, a feeling so painfully true.
I, 'now the selfish?', have steps to turn back to
To grant you the freedom, you endlessly pursued.
The path now for me, has been bedecked ahead
With traces of wilderness and abundance of solitude.
The heart takes a beat as it dejectedly concludes
But the conscience is what sighs and is finally rescued.

PS: I wrote the poem at 2 last night and posted it. Today morning, I felt how silly it was, and it was just the lack of sleep and a mind filled with unnerving thoughts which bought out those words, so I deleted it. Thank you Saru, because you felt it was worth posting, so now I repost it.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

And we call ourselves educated?

Imagine you are a single woman. Now imagine that you have just got promoted. You would be ecstatic and overjoyed, isn't it? Proud and happy, you would accept the wishes from your colleagues and chums. Throw parties for your buddies. Get ready to walk into the new role you have been offered. And then, just like that, out of the blue, silly and cynical trash will be gathered and thrown right at your face. The trash would be so filthy and nasty, that it would take you some time to think about the source of it, and how people would be so gross to stoop to those levels.

A very close friend of mine got promoted and became a manager. When I shared this news with a friend, instead of being happy for her, he acted shocked and bombarded me with silly inane questions. He rambled on for 10 minutes, telling me how in the world would she never find a guy now? Doesn't she realize all the managers are already married, have kids or are going to be married! What, is she going to marry a fresher now and support him. Her parents must be so worried. Its time she stops concentrating on her work, and look for suitable guys now. And when she does, she better set aside the salary criteria along with the age criteria too. God, promoted again!

Too shocked to respond to it, I simply changed the topic and talked about other things. Thankfully he stopped his babble and choose to answer my questions. After exactly 1 minute I disconnected the phone. But his words still stung. The whole day I kept my thoughts and anger bottled up, but vented out as soon as I saw hubby dearest. The friend was close to both of us, and his regressive attitude towards single women shocked us. He himself had got promoted today. Would he have taken such negative comments in the same light as he made them for an other person. How easy it is to judge and talk and insult. He has more years of experience than my close friend, and by that, he had ought to be more practical and SENSIBLE. In spite of living in a city like Pune, where people boast of being modern and forward, in spite of holding an engineering degree and in-spite of working in a MNC which gives you a chance to travel abroad and see the world, he choose to take the small route and comment in such a unsettling way about her.

We still don't know if he meant well for her, that she settles down soon, or was he being just plain spiteful? But whatever it was, it didn't go down well with me. Hubby tried to pacify me, but I was not to be. The only regret I didn't stop him when I should have.

We call ourselves forward and educated, but we as a country are still not prepared for single successful women. Such deep rooted prehistoric notions will take ages to get uprooted. And until then times are indeed difficult for the single girls out there. These comments are going to be lashed onto them time and again.

My advice to you girls out there: Ignorance is bliss. You go girl.
My advise to the scornful 'educated' lot out there: Grapes are sour empty head. Appreciate what you can, else mind your damn own silly business.

PS: I got promoted too, but was saved the brunt. Ask me why? Because I seemed to have the 'multi action power' of the gold thread with the scared black beads!! Bah, how cheeky are we! Grow up guys!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Its London Baby - The First Travel

I wanted to write about my times in London for a long time, and wanted to make this a series. Connie who blogs at bhulbhulaiyan has traveled the world and how and has all travel encounters on her blog. So when she asked to write a guest post for her, I thought, what better way to start this series! Thank you Connie. So here it is, my first guest post and the first part of this series.
Its London Baby: The first Travel

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Why did we grow up?

I lost my nani last Sunday. She was suffering for quite sometime and we knew she wanted the end. She passed away in her sleep. It was a turbulent time for the family on Sunday and Monday, but in the end we were grateful that it didn't prolong for long and it was painless. I was in Pune when I heard the news. Although we all were somewhere prepared, the shock and the grief struck us hard when it happened for real. The family came together, mourned for her death, performed the last rites, prayed for her, and then tried to move along. The atmosphere at home was not mournful but was strangely peaceful. No one wanted to be grief stricken more. It sounds selfish, but believe me, each one of us tried to put happier thoughts to reduce the pain. We talked about how the lost members of the family were talking about us from the heaven above. Oddly that made us happy. The thought that we were still a family even when up above gave us some consolation.

But my thoughts did a double take when I came back to Pune from Mumbai Tuesday night. And that has troubled me a lot.
'Ajji' is gone, and with her, I have lost one more member of my family. Is my immediate family reducing? This thought scares me to no end. I know a new member has been added(my husband), and along with him, comes his own family. In future when I have a child, I will be adding more to the count. But what about my old ones? I have lost them forever. I know the times in future and the new members, would give me happiness and pleasure. They would give me a ray of hope to live and look forward to each day. But today, the only thing I want to do is swap my future life with my past. My past, which was secure and cocooned in my parent's house. A past which had everybody, who originally made up the definition of 'family' for me. I wish somehow time would have stopped then and we would all be transfered into a photo frame. We all of the same age, living the same life, and continuing forever like that. As much as monotonous it sounds to you, it sounds like heaven to me. I am there, happy and gay, holding onto everybody who is not here today with me.
I wish that would happen. I wish I would never grow old. I wish time had stood still then. Why, why did we grow old?

This is a hard retrospection of how death can change your thoughts. I feel one should just learn to live independently no matter what. I have made a mind set to achieve that.