Thursday, February 7, 2013

Not for Dexter but for Debra.

So who are Dexter and Debra? They are the siblings from the hot shot super hit show named Dexter. This show has completed 7 seasons and had started way back in 2005. But we (i.e Dexter and me) kind of met quite recently, i.e. last year and since then, we (i.e the series and me :-)) are glued. I confess I have an addiction, a dark passenger (you would only get this, if you watch the series). I have to watch at least one episode(2 would be a bonus night) per night while I am having my dinner. I begin to agitate and display symptoms of a addict if that doesn't happen. I am into the 6th season, and I am terrified now. Soon I will be into the 7th, and once that's done, what do I watch! Yeah Dexter is coming back for season 8, but the rumor is that, that's going to be the last. Gosh hell No Please!

Al rite, so the post is really not about Dexter or my addiction. The post is entirely and truly dedicated to Debra Morgan.
I L O V E that woman.

Debra Morgan:
She is Dexter's younger sister. She was a detective and is now a lieutenant with the Miami Metro Police force and she is sincerely, sincerely (am thinking how much more can I stress on the sincerely, but I hope you get the point) addicted to her work. Ultra thin and tall, she comes across as a strong woman, always in stripe shirts and trousers and in a total de glam look, she is beautiful. But the most important thing that I like about her, is that she is NORMAL girl, so normal that it feels she has actually lived my life!

Season 1:
She is of course crazy about her job and very good at it, but is naive and kind of immature. She totally believes in the concept of love and wants the flowers and out of the world proposals. She is not possessive, but tends to be clingy, and expects all the love in return, which she easily gives. She is dependant on her man, and eventually the man uses her and (forget about breaking her heart) tries to kill her! Debra is ashamed beyond shock and is terribly embarrassed and is completely broken.

This immature quality to cling and expect and love unconditionally, even if it hurts your self respect/confidence, because you know its for the love of your life, and then really be rooted out of your belief, is a feeling that I am not alien too. And I know a lot of other woman, who are not too. It eventually leads to insecurity and low self esteem, and one starts feeling dejected, depressed and useless.

Season 2:
Debra starts questioning her beliefs about love and relationships, and goes into some serious depression. The only way she ventures out of that, is by working out, and working out hard.
This way to come out of it, amazes me. I also went (or rather I am in) that phase of excessive working out and excessive obsession with the weight(well Debra doesn't have the obsession, because she already was so thin in Season 1). The excessiveness actually directs all your pent up anger and energy into something useful and generates this great levels of positivity. The feeling when people comment about your weight, and the feeling when you get into sizes smaller than you normally wear,believe me, is a lot better than having to get flowers and chocolates and calls from that guy :-)

Season 3-4-5 : One thing I totally love about the series is that it is terribly real. I know I said that before, but I cant help reiterate. Real not because of Dexter, but because of Debra. Her reactions to situations, her anger, her moods swings. I really get that and I feel for her. Its almost as if I am saying to her, 'Girl I know what that feels like'! Because really its not a goody goody life, but its actually (in Debra's words) 'A f___king life'.
In these seasons, her motto is just work work and more work. She of course falls in love again to lose her loved one again(but this time because her lover dies due to a criminal), she falls cautiously and only when she the other person reciprocates. In Season 5, she is the one putting off her man, so very opposite of what she was in season 1. See how she has evolved, and just because experience is the best teacher. That pain and agony in season one, well yeah she doesn't want to go through that again. No man is worth that. And I am again smiling because, I have learnt it the hard way too. No more clingy, no more desperate calls from me. Give space and then you get space. Lets things take time and fall in their place when they want to. And when you do, you get all that in return which you always wanted.

In these seasons, she also faces some serious hardships from her boss(yeah again its a hard life) and she overcomes that to become a lieutenant. Because if you are sincere, you get the job done. Well people who have been interacting with me lately, know about my job scene, and really its not all that different! So whoa again I see what she does, and I do that. Move on, but still do your job!

Well in season 6, she becomes the boss, and I have finished like just 5 episodes, so it would be too soon to comment about her love/professional life, but what I have seen she has grown AGAIN. She learns and grows, and never repeats those mistakes again. Yeah she admits those faults, but moves on, importantly moves ahead always. And this is what I like the best about her and this is what draws me, the most to her. Yes she is human, yes she is a somewhere a sweet little girl, yes she has her flaws but yes she is strong and resolute. If you thought she was stupid in seasons before, you would be forced to change your opinion, you would be now forced to respect her.
Guys, Watch Dexter not for Dexter but for Debra!

And look, she too has this weird obsession of cutting her long hair very short, to growing it again! Are the similarities going to end now. Oh I forgot, I don't look like her at all.. sigh :-(

All Images from Google.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Irked in office

I am in the office floor washroom, washing my hands after using the loo. A girl, aka smiley wali acquaintance (i.e. we don't know the names of one another but exchange smiles when we run into each other on the office floor) comes in, uses the loo, come out and then shows me the mehendi on her hand and tells me to smell it! Al rite the mehendi is beautiful, and yes it always smells heavenly, but ma'am NO, I cannot smell your hands if you have not washed them first! Well guess what? I obliged :-( . Because really, I felt awkward to tell her to wash her hands first, only after which I could bury my nose into them. That would hurt and it would be really awkward. For the record; Later on, I did clean my face and my hands rigorously and dried them clean. But this lead to the loss of 2 more paper towels, whereas, if she had directly washed her hands, we would have saved one tissue and we both would have enjoyed the mehendi aroma treat! Sigh!

So why am I blabbering about this washroom exchange over here. Reason being; I have some major pet peeves, and when people go ahead and do those, I find it terribly hard to go ahead and point that to them! How do you tell people (politely/without annoying/without sounding offensive) that they have got to stop doing certain actions or have to start doing certain things in the office?

Seriously tell me, how do you tell people:

To stop scratching your back, armpits while talking to your peers in the meeting room. While the man is going on and on about the value adds, I am all "How does the hand even reach that place on your back!!??"

To tell the girl who looks ultra chic in the trousers, to wear some perfume. Because really girl, I don't want to know which loo you had used 10 minutes back.

To tell the smiley girl to wash her hands ALWAYS after using the loo, because its only you and not the germs who have to rush to that call or meeting. She never washes her hands!

To the boy in the next cubicle, to hold a hanky/tissue/hands to your face while you sneeze. Because I like to take my shower in the mornings only, thank you.

To the manager who talks horribly wrong grammatical English, so much that he address the woman on the phone as 'He'. Surely I ensure I say something in the call, you know, just to clear the air about my English.

To the colleague who finishes up all of my all tiffins, instead of sharing it. Sir, I show that I care, but really its not all that much.

To the guy on the floor, who removes his shoes and parades around in the socks. Well if someone is unconscious we know where to go, but until then, can you keep your shoes on please?

To the newly married girl who almost yells on the phone. We know you have to have the mush talks, but how about just for your man, and not for the other 10 men surrounding your cubicle.

And to the colleague who sweats profusely even in the AC, not to ask us, to share our apples. With the 'NO' nod of the head, I always want to add that you must visit the doc for that much sweating. Seriously.

Well, as I re read all the above lines, I somewhere felt, I had turned bitchy and insulting. So really, even after reading the points HERE I feel that, so how am I ever going to say these things (of course not with the sarcasm) and expect that they would take it positively. I know there are columns in magazines who address these kind of queries, but really being an almost stranger to one another in the office, I cannot go ahead and ask them to do stop this and request them to start doing that. I feel, something like this, can best be addressed by friends very close or by family. But surely they have not, else there would not be such a post. So does that mean, I have to go on shaking germs laded hands or get showered by sneezes in the office, just because there is no good way to say this?

And yes, there is actually no good way to say this.
A personal incident; I have really frizzy hair and it tends to cover up my face at times. With longer hair the frizz also increased in proportion. I really never bothered about it, until a girl came up to and told me that I should tie my hair properly, because it looked very untidy(let me add very politely). I will be honest here, how much ever her intentions were good, that sentence really really hurt me. Eventually I began to use a lot of conditioner for the frizz and tied it better. The hair started to look a lot neater over the years but somehow I still housed that tiny grudge somewhere against that 'stranger'. Maybe I would have taken it a lot better, if it as someone from my family. But what if my family never told me?

So the only way to do this, is to be prepared that the person may not like it, but really someone has to tell him/her. HaHa I get that, but pray tell me "Whose going to bell the manager??"

Happy new years guys. For long I had no clue what to write and then it was winter, so I just hibernated.
A lot of people have ventured their thoughts about the Delhi gang rape on the blogosphere. This is really commendable and indeed I got to read a varied amount of opinions (never a hibernation on reading). We need more like that. It is a revolution and we all have to do our bit. But how sad, that it had come to something like this, for a revolution to start. As far as I am concerned, I really had and still have only one line to say. Castration and definitely not chemical.